You must wear Speedos in swimming-pools in France.
Or some generic brand of trunks. You cannot, under any circumstances, wear board-shorts.
Okay, so the reason given is "hygiene". Which is obviously complete bollocks (excuse the pun). No, the REAL reason - and I am in no way (I am totally) speculating here - is there are too many bureaucrats working in the department of public health and safety (or whatever it's called here) and they have too much time on their hands.
So Speedo comes along and takes them out to lunch and, you know what, we have this conference on public health and hygiene in Marbella next month, would you like to come? We're happy to pay for your expenses. Plus your wife's. Plus your round of golf each afternoon.
Then at the conference they make an hour-long presentation over champagne on how Speedo's revolutionary fabric design improves the hygiene in public pools and MAY ACTUALLY SAVE LIVES! And the bureaucrats all nod and look at each other and say "wow, that totally makes sense" and then they finish their glasses and toddle off to the golf course, and on Monday when they get back, because they've nothing f***ing better to do, they start putting together regulations on what people are and aren't allowed wear in public - and also privately-owned in the case of hotels and resorts - swimming-pools, and what do you know? You have to wear Speedos.
Of course you can wear any brand of "speedo" you want, but guess who has by far the biggest chunk of the swimming costume market in France...?
Look, it's probably not true, but it's a good a reason as any. And it's exactly how the pharmaceutical industry works.
Or some generic brand of trunks. You cannot, under any circumstances, wear board-shorts.
Okay, so the reason given is "hygiene". Which is obviously complete bollocks (excuse the pun). No, the REAL reason - and I am in no way (I am totally) speculating here - is there are too many bureaucrats working in the department of public health and safety (or whatever it's called here) and they have too much time on their hands.
So Speedo comes along and takes them out to lunch and, you know what, we have this conference on public health and hygiene in Marbella next month, would you like to come? We're happy to pay for your expenses. Plus your wife's. Plus your round of golf each afternoon.
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| Looks ridiculous, right? |
Then at the conference they make an hour-long presentation over champagne on how Speedo's revolutionary fabric design improves the hygiene in public pools and MAY ACTUALLY SAVE LIVES! And the bureaucrats all nod and look at each other and say "wow, that totally makes sense" and then they finish their glasses and toddle off to the golf course, and on Monday when they get back, because they've nothing f***ing better to do, they start putting together regulations on what people are and aren't allowed wear in public - and also privately-owned in the case of hotels and resorts - swimming-pools, and what do you know? You have to wear Speedos.
Of course you can wear any brand of "speedo" you want, but guess who has by far the biggest chunk of the swimming costume market in France...?
Look, it's probably not true, but it's a good a reason as any. And it's exactly how the pharmaceutical industry works.
